So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
