Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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