I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
