Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
