their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
