just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
