I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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