that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
