So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
