so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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