What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
