hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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