Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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