Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
