Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize