And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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