garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
