Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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