I wanna bring you to show and tell
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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