I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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