Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
