Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
But theres a keg here and me gusta
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
