I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
