She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
