you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
