Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
