His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it's great music for shaving your balls
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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