Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
