Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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