i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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