If i come over, it means nothing
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
