did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Im part way to drunk.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize