He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
