I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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