Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
