in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
