lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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