The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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