you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
