Already got asked if we're dating
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
