Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you win again, gameday.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
