i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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