how can u be prego again
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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