bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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