Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
