Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
please don't ironically join a cult
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