i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
