before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
