The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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