im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize