Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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