Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
