O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
