Pappa wants mamma naked
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
