Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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