never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
