No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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