And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
