ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
