she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
