dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
