I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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