Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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