I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize