I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
