I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
