he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
