the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
