I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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